Final Words

Honestly I can't work out if it bothers me or not. What I really want, most of all, is /conclusion/. I'm pretty sure he was 'cheating' but I couldn't say for certain 100%.

I'd honestly prefer being told outright, rather than all this sly under the radar thing, leaving me wallowing in uncertainty.

I keep thinking I owe him something because he was my best friend for a good five or so years. On the other hand, I owe him nothing. Do I still want him as a friend? I do miss that instant affinity. But then again, maybe I have no claim to that anymore.

It's weird.

All I'd really like is definitive answers. I hate not knowing for certain and so, not knowing how to feel about anything.

I've also come to the conclusion that it's pointless to think "he was such a douche" or "he was adorable" because frankly, it was both. The true answer to what I should think is: "he was human." Neither good or evil because there is no black and white.

I will remember the good things and the bad. The tricky part is to remember it without reliving it.