general

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I have this fear that his parents will say when I meet them, 'oh but we wanted you to find a nice Australian girl.'

Some days, and not often I admit, I feel very strange about my heritage. I certainly don't feel or think /Asian/ - in fact, the Asian culture is so bewildering to me that at times I find it a little disturbing and kind of disgusting, especially with the semi-pedophilia.

On the other hand, I don't know if I fit into a western culture either - I don't have any real experience in it, because my family is quite distanced from that. I also think western culture, especially pop culture, tends to be more open about sex and that makes my little mousey self rather redfaced and shuffle footed.

Mainly this comes down to either society's portrayal of women. Asian women are expected to be 'cute' while European women are expected to be 'sexy' - meanwhile I'm sandwiched in the middle and I can't do either.

So really, my fear with meeting his parents is not their misconception of my Asian heritage. It's my fear that they won't like me as I am.
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